Stinky South Beach in full e-f-f-u-c-k-i-n-g fect.

That’s right kiddies, $¢ with another no rebate update. If you want off ze list tough titties. No one ever escapes…no one! Ok, ok, unbunch those panties, I’ll give ya the red card and headbutt your email outta here.

Anyways I’ll make this brief like the underwear–ok you’ve heard that one before. I definitely need some new lines. I’m doing a last minute thing at APT downstairs tomorrow. They only let me out every once in a while, like the Kracken in Clash of the Titans (pre-CGI shit, bitches), to unleash a tidal wave of musical fury for all you virgin sacrifices. I will be well armed with new and old dancehall, heavy funk for the trunk, deep disco, afro-haus, bootilicious electro and bass, semi-random and known rapp, and some spirit jazz to round off the evening. As the great Pinchers once said I’ll cut ya like the sword of zorro.

Should be a mildly entertaining evening in the lovely former meat packing district, then it was MPD, and now Stinky South Beach. Ahh the sights, the sounds, the SMELLS of NYC. After your overpriced asian-esque meal that included endangered chilean sea bass (hey, who cares, it tastes great!), come by and hear a hustler of culture do damage on the death star Funktion One soundsystem at ye olde APT (a veteran of the neighborhood at this point).

Tuesday, Aug. 1st

$mall ¢hange

‘Live’ from Stinky South Beach

@ APT 419 w. 13th btw 9th and Washington

10pm onwards and upwards (and possibly inwards)

Also do czeck Stolen Moments, the weekly ‘jazz’ (with heavy quotes) thang that me and the lovely DJ Sims host/spin. I’m off this week to answer the higher call of corporate office parties, but stop by cos Sims is bringing some super bad superslick DeeJays Southpaw and Rez. Breaks, soul, and real deal hip hop. Y’know, just like the Black Eye’d Sleeze are reppin’ in those so bad their bad snickers ads. I keed. As I keep saying, fuck hip hop, the shit is dead. Lets bring back Rapp! Anyways these cats know the time so reset your alarm clock and don’t hit the sleep button.


Stolen Moments

this week: Sims, Southpaw and Rez

@ East Side Co.

49 Essex near Grand.

9pm on.

ok paz peepholes. Also a quick message to our world leaders: chill the fuck out and get a clue. I’m audi 5.